Interview: Being aware with Sirius Freshbox Gold Magic Truffles
For this blog, I interviewed my good friend Chris to learn more about his experience with the latest Magic Truffle edition from Sirius: Freshbox Gold, a Special Edition.
We introduced the Freshbox Special Editions to thank for the 25th anniversary of our smartshop. Hooray!
Read the interview
Hi Chris, do you consider yourself an experienced psychonaut?
"I don't really see myself as an 'experienced' psychonaut, because every trip is still intense and I don't get used to the intensity of the experience. There are always many emotions that come out. Also this time there were tears and sadness. But this time I had much more confidence in the experience, so I didn't get stuck in certain feelings, but allowed everything and could let go again."
Wow, that sounds like a very wise lesson
"I could just let my feelings 'be'. Without necessarily wanting to change anything. I could feel bad and allow it, without getting stuck in it. Feelings and emotions come and go and want to be experienced and released. So I let the misery wash over me in the full knowledge that at any moment I could get up and step out of the emotion."
This has to do with awareness and meditation, which you have been doing for quite some time now
"It has everything to do with awareness. I have been working on non-duality and being aware (consciously) for over a year now. During this trip these insights came to me. I can say that this was my deepest psychedelic experience ever, because I realized: 'I am Consciousness'. With a click it switched on, everything became clear.
I had fewer visuals than, for example, with an ayahuasca experience, but the experience itself was more intense because of this realization. Of course, it also had something to do with the fact that I was already working on this. Hard to say if I would have experienced this in the same way if I wasn't busy with enlightenment."
How long have you been coming to Sirius?
"A long time ago I did go to Sirius for CDs, including techno and music from the Warp label. Boards Of Canada, for example. At the time I was listening a lot to 'Intelligent Dance Music'. I kept that lofty term to myself.
What other psychedelics have you done, besides Magic Truffles?
"I used to do magic mushrooms with friends. I have also done ayahuasca about 5 times in my life.
Furthermore I have experience with Bufo alvarius, under the guidance of a shaman. It was always a micro-dose, where I inhaled and the trip lasted about fifteen minutes. I lay down and the visual effects splashed into my face after 5 seconds. Very brief but very intense. Then the effect ebbed away, I stood up and inhaled again. I did this about 4 or 5 times in a row. The shaman who guided me used it herself as well."
During this Bufo experience, but also with ayahuasca, there is a ceremonial setting. Are there things you take with you from these ceremonies in your individual trips?
"Such a ceremony has advantages and disadvantages. It is a good exercise in accepting what comes without being able to control it. Sharing the experience with 25 people is nice, but also gives a kind of inhibition.
Being alone gives me the chance not to be distracted, to choose whether I want to sit or lie down and to be completely in the moment.
Since I have been working with advaita (non-duality) I have less need for those ceremonies. Such a ceremony is nice, with very cool people, but for me it is also a bit superfluous. A kind of story, which you can get stuck in. As if it is a goal, instead of a means. There is nothing wrong with that, if that is what you want to do. Then you just keep looking for the ayahuasca experience your whole life, but I want to go one step further."
And what is that step further?
"Waking up. Realizing I am consciousness. Psychedelics are a doorway: if you use that doorway more often, you start to focus on the colours and patterns. I noticed that myself. As Alan Watts also said: 'Once you got the message, hang up the phone'.
It's just a question of why you're tripping. For fun? Or for depth? For me, it's definitely the latter. That was already true when I did ayahuasca for the first time, now 2 years ago. And ever since I've been working with non-dualism it has become even stronger."
Do you like the taste of Magic Truffles? How do you consume your truffles?
"No, I don't like the taste. I made tea, then the taste is okay. Also, the effects come on faster and it is more digestible. I used the 15 gram portion. My girlfriend took magic mushrooms."
How did you prepare for the trip?
"The trip was fairly spontaneous. The truffles were still in the fridge. Our child was at grandmother’s. Anyway, we don't have a stressful life right now. We already live pretty slow at the moment. My girlfriend and I both don't work and live healthy lives.
For this trip, I didn't follow any special diet or prepare any rituals like I did for my previous trip a year ago. Then I had made an altar.
My girlfriend tripped alone some time ago. I was sitter. She went in easily, with a piece of music. Other than that, she didn't need much. I wanted to be the perfect tripsitter, preparing everything down to the last detail. I like the fact that she just opens up and doesn't need much else. Just make sure you are in a good environment and have some nice music.
After the trip we went for a walk, I'm lucky I live close to a beautiful piece of nature."
Where did you trip?
I like to trip outside in nature with friends.
Is there a reason why you are more of the indoor/alone tripping?
"Of course it depends on your goal and the set and setting. For me, it doesn't work to walk around a lot during a trip.
I want to have as few distractions as possible. I prefer to keep my eyes closed. Right now, for me, it's the best way to get as close to consciousness as possible and learn to feel. My goal for this trip was to "feel," so I stepped in with this intention, or expectation."
In what ways was this trip different from previous experiences?
"At some point ego was addressed by consciousness. Consciousness made fun of ego a bit actually; all that effort - meditating, reading, thinking - to see something that was always there and always will be, namely Consciousness. For where or what are you without Consciousness? At the same time, there was the realization that what I really am even precedes ego and Consciousness. 'I am the Absolute.' So that was a brief moment of enlightenment.
Suddenly the blow came: I do not exist. My ego does not exist.
Then my body was gone, my mind also barely there. There was almost only infinite space and the realization "I am everything”.
Then I had to think about my friends. I am also my friends, of course.
Afterwards, naturally, my ego started to analyze again: to what extent was this all real? I let it go, tried not to make too much of it. Of course I would like to do this again. I felt enlightened for a moment. This experience was a beautiful thing and definitely showed me something, even if it's not entirely clear.
I have never laughed so hard when I was over the peak. Laughing because everything is so simple. Of course I am consciousness. And tomorrow I will forget again.
During an ayahuasca ceremony, I was reminded of the love I feel for myself. Even though I forget, that experience is deep within me.
It helps if you have experienced it."
How do you feel now, a few weeks after the trip?
"I feel OK now. The experience was very valuable and showed something. With aya I had the feeling a few weeks after that it was working its way through. The truffles don't necessarily make me feel better or worse.
Anyway, I'm working on consciousness a lot. All the time actually. Sometimes it does get tiring and there are frustrating moments where I want things to move forward. Then I hit a barrier and get stuck. Then the thinking starts again, in circles. Whether that's about enlightenment or something trivial doesn't really matter.
Other than that, I've actually been feeling very good for over a year."
Do you have any tips (for beginners)?
"Read and/or watch Hans Laurentius. He just tells you how it is. You are not a person, a body or a mind; you are consciousness... and actually you even precede it ?"
Blog photo: Kloroform
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